Category Archives: Joy

December 9th – I don’t decorate

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IMG_1392 kakebakerWhile we were having lunch the world was transformed. From rain to the most wonderful ice storm. Every single twig was frozen into a magical crystal. So beautiful!

Except we were going to a Christmas party out in the country, should we really brave those slippery roads? In the end we did, and had a true winter wonderland experience, which even got better when we finally where inside the big old farmhouse. No inch was undecorated, every spot was filled with something beautiful or funny or interesting. Every possible theme for Christmas decoration was exhausted. As it was so tastefully done, it was a marvel to behold. I did not know the people we were visiting, but  as I praised her collection of Christmas stockings, she took me on a tour of the whole house. Never before or since have I seen anything like it, the cats had their own tree, the deer in the park had their own tree.As I thanked her for the tour, I asked innocently ” And what do you do?”. She looked seriously at me with big blue eyes : “I  decorate!”

IMG_1393 julealvIndeed she did. To me it was an awakening in many ways. First of all I realized that what I aimed at when I decorated was not possible to achieve in between, before and after everything else I had to do. Even if I love to decorate, it is not what I do.I do a lot of other things, but I could never be willing to set aside the energy, time and money involved in a transformation like this.

Having realized that freed me from taking part in the “Perfect Christmas” competition that every magazine wants to enroll us in. Being free from comparison i could concentrate on how my Christmas touches would enhance the celebration we wanted, the life we want to build, the faith we want to share.

From then on decoration is not about decorating, it is all about picking symbols that makes real and tactile all that is difficult to put into words.

So, even in a house filled with greenery, candles, wreaths, angels and gifts, it is not about decorating. It is my way of letting our home remind ourselves and our visitors about what is important to us.
It is love without words, but with evergreens and lights.

Believe me, I know better than most how frantic and exhausting it is possible to make the season of peace and goodwill. The main story on Indexyourlife in December will be my way to a Christmas free of tangles.

In December my brother and I write an advent calendar blog together in norwegian.You may visit at  JULEFRYD or Christmas Joy. This year we will be writing or sharing thoughts and joys of gifts, giving and sharing. We will post there every day, and I will share some of that blog here on indexyourlife too.

All pictures at Indexyourlife are mine, if not otherwise stated. Today they are from the Christmas windows in Copenhagen this year.

December 8th – fairytale joy

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Snowmen playing in the tree

Snowmen playing in the tree

I was  placing a tiny snowman in a wintry wonderland in one of the windowsills. He was enjoying himself with his sled and all the other snowmen, Santas, fairies and reindeer that was populated every windowsill, some tabletops and part of the kitchen counter. Just then our youngest came home from school with all his friends in tow and found their places around the kitchen table. They loved to do their homework together and of course do some testing on whatever I had baked. Marveling they went from one tableau to another, finding all the tiny details.

It was fun of course, and part of the tradition. I remember how we always looked for the small Santas my parents hid all over the house. Then I had a weird feeling, as if I saw it all from the outside. I saw myself spending the rest of my life, or at least Decembers, carrying boxes up from the basement, doing everything just as it used to be. I saw children growing older, coming home from college, coming home with their kids, always expecting everything to be as it used to be. To someone with limitless energy, it would be fun. I, on the other hand, was ill much of the time, and my decorating bouts had to be done on the days I was able to do it. Did I really have to, or want to, do it?

That made me think, I’d better rethink this decorating thing. If this is what I am going to do, I’d better make it what I  would love to keep doing no matter what.

Resolutely I said to our son, this is a Christmas decoration contest. You may decide what you like most! They decided on the six woolen snowmen I had made to look like small children playing in the snow. The rest? I put most of it back in its boxes, labeled them carefully, put the date on them, 1999, and took them back into the basement. Where they still are. Not gone, the children may take all they want when they leave home. The rest was donated to a thrift store. Since then the six snowmen are playing happily every winter, sometimes in the window, sometimes hidden in the tree. Pure joy, totally free of fuss.

Come play in the snow

Come play in the snow

Believe me, I know better than most how frantic and exhausting it is possible to make the season of peace and goodwill. The main story on Indexyourlife in December will be my way to a Christmas free of tangles.

In December my brother and I write an advent calendar blog together in norwegian.You may visit at  JULEFRYD or Christmas Joy. This year we will be writing or sharing thoughts and joys of gifts, giving and sharing. We will post there every day, and I will share some of that blog here on indexyourlife too.

All pictures at Indexyourlife are mine, if not otherwise stated.

December 7th – homemade with stress…or love?

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IMG_1905 garn“Why don’t you just knit some socks for my kids for Christmas?” I will not tell you who said this, he probably thought he was making it simple for me. He caught me in the middle of gift making and did not meet a jolly elf, he met a fuming one. “Of course I can, then you can give each of our children what you earn in 8 hours, I retorted”. Not an answer to be proud of, I know, but it made me think. When did I allow it to become a question of money?

At times it is, with good ideas, time on your hand and free materials, making gifts could be cheap. It normally isn’t. The Alpacca wool mittens I am working on now, takes 25 Dollars worth of yarn and at least 10 hours work. The strange thing is, I have been giving self-made gifts since I was five years old, and I should know by now that quite a few people do not really appreciate a home made gift, so why so I keep doing it?

It took me years to shift my mind from having to make gifts, to wanting to make gifts, to being allowed to make gifts, to enjoying to make gifts, to craving to make gifts. Which is where I am now.

I realized it was not so much about giving as it was about being.
It was not about money, it was all about values.
It was actually not about the product, it was about the process.

I have to be a person who makes things, that is the simple truth.
I love the way my house looks with a basket of knitting next to my chair.
I love the way I feel when thoughts are allowed to come and go, dusk is slowly falling, the fire is roaring, the music is playing and soft yarn runs through my fingers.

To be honest, making gifts is about who I am, not about what I do. When I finally saw that truth I was able to let go of all the hassle of gift making and keep the love of making gifts.

For some weeks in fall and early winter I have a project waiting for me in my knitting basket. I steal moments of pure joy with those bundles of softness and color. Sometimes there will be results too, which I am thrilled to share with friends and family.

At all times the result is a happy me, which around the 15th of december congratulate myself with work well done, clears away all craft supplies and knitting, and ventures out to buy my dear ones what I can truly afford, with love. Next year perhaps a new person will be the one who get’s something crafted straight from my heart, who knows. They all get peace and gifts with no hassle or stress attached, and with no hours counted.

IMG_1907 knitting

Believe me, I know better than most how frantic and exhausting it is possible to make the season of peace and goodwill. The main story on Indexyourlife in December will be my way to a Christmas free of tangles.

In December my brother and I write an advent calendar blog together in norwegian.You may visit at  JULEFRYD or Christmas Joy. This year we will be writing or sharing thoughts and joys of gifts, giving and sharing. We will post there every day, and I will share some of that blog here on indexyourlife too.

All pictures at Indexyourlife are mine, if not otherwise stated.

December 3rd – the serve again meal

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Mrs. Claus is getting wiser.

Mrs. Claus is getting wiser.

One of the first Christmas pictures I remember was taken when my father was still a student. We lived in a tiny student housing and money was scarce. What did they do for Christmas? The picture shows my mother with a pig’s head and a toothbrush, cleaning it to make the traditional pressed meat. That was just the start, as we moved to bigger houses more and more of the traditional fare was prepared and consumed around Christmas. My parents made it all themselves, hams and cold cuts, chutney and cheeses, sausages and pates.

The first Christmas my husband and me were to celebrate in our own home, I bought half a lamb and a pig and was ready to start. I just checked with him to ask if there was something special he wanted. Nothing, he did not want anything. Not to be kind, he just was not used to that way of celebrating. Deeply troubling to a traditionalist like me. This had to be done, and it looked like I was the one that had to do it. For some years I forced ahead. Never on the same scale as my parents, but always making lots of strange stuff we were not able to finish.I even made fun of everyone who tried to behave and prepare like they lived on a big farm with lots of people when most actually lived in small apartments.

Accordingly I made smaller and smaller portions, until I almost stopped. Then I saw the movie by Astrid Lindgren, about Emil who carried all the Christmas food out of the pantry to serve the poor, and I remembered why we always prepared lots of food for Christmas. It was to always be prepared for any guest, and to have something to share.
The traditional foodstuff can be carried in and out of the pantry, it can be served again and again. It is prepared for a time before refrigerators and does not turn bad for days.

Come in from the cold!

Come in from the cold!

The tradition was to serve this food for almost every meal, and to everyone through Christmas, how neat is that! Never to think about what to serve or to plan for different meals!
At Christmas it is only the time of day that decides what kind of meal it is. Christmas breakfast, Christmas lunch and Christmas supper is all the same, different variations of what is in the pantry. Everyone expects that and knows what they will get. Easy.
Another bonus, never any leftovers that should be concealed as something else, just plain good food until the ham is eaten. Great. To make small portions just to have a taste of Christmas was actually quite stupid.

I had to look for the essence of that idea. What kind of food did we like, could we afford, could we prepare or buy in advance in big quantities, store and be ready to serve at any time for a couple of weeks?

Chairs and tables are not enough

Chairs and tables are not enough

How could we welcome anyone without planning, without fretting and without hassle, at any time, no matter what other activities we were doing?

We are still working on that, in the reverse way. I do not make everything, I buy most, always with the criteria above in my mind. My new motto became: to be prepared for anything while playing along  as we go. Then I do not make or buy anything that does not fit that plan. Of course the freezer makes it possible to cheat, and I do. I do not even wait till Christmas, I do it now. Fill my freezer with hams and cuts, smoked salmon and cured meats, everyone are welcome, anytime, I will soon be ready!

If not, we could always do take-away, but that is tomorrow’s story.

Believe me, I know better than most how frantic and exhausting it is possible to make the season of peace and goodwill. The main story on Indexyourlife in December will be my way to a Christmas free of tangles.

In December my brother and I write an advent calendar blog together in norwegian.You may visit at  JULEFRYD or Christmas Joy. This year we will be writing or sharing thoughts and joys of gifts, giving and sharing. We will post there every day, and I will share some of that blog here on indexyourlife too.

All pictures at Indexyourlife are mine, if not otherwise stated.

December 1st – Christmas free of tangles

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Sometimes, some things are just not done

Sometimes, some things are just not done

My mother used to tell this story of the Advent when my kid brother had the croup, my two-year old sister was diagnosed with severe mental handicaps, and where most of us had the flu. “I did not do anything for Christmas that year, but somehow it got to be Christmas anyway,” she said.

When we grew up, we did not believe her, no way everything had been as chaotic as that? We six children had not experienced anything else than pure Christmas magic.

When I started out as a housewife my self, I did not believe her. There won’t be any Christmas unless, until and before this and that and more is done. I was brilliant at it. My friends and family told me how wonderful our Christmases were. I had several ideas for books on the theme Christmas decorations, Christmas lists, and Christmas gifts.

Nature is at it's most peaceful

Nature is at it’s most peaceful

The most stressful tradition of them all was the Scandinavian one that Christmas happens between the 23rd and the 24th of December. The children should go to bed in a messy, advent home with no red or green, and awake to a decorated fairyland with a glittering tree.I was not allowed to do have anything to do with this until I married. Then it was all up to me, and I had everything to do with this surprising piece of magic.

It took years before I believed my mother. One december morning I finally could tell my self:

“You are not the Christmas Miracle!”

To me that was the slight turn of perspective that made me rediscover advent and put me on the path to truly joyous Christmas preparations. Along this road I have made wrong steps and some smart moves which is what I will write about this advent. Come along, or lean back and rest in your own hassle free way to Christmas Joy!

While I used to insist on activity

While I used to insist on activity

Believe me, I know better than most how frantic and exhausting it is possible to make the season of peace and goodwill. The main story on Indexyourlife in December will be my way to a Christmas free of tangles.

In December my brother and I write an advent calendar blog together in norwegian.You may visit at  JULEFRYD or Christmas Joy. This year we will be writing or sharing thoughts and joys of gifts, giving and sharing. We will post there every day, and I will share some of that blog here on indexyourlife too.

All pictures at Indexyourlife are mine, if not otherwise stated.

True courage

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IMG_2701 cheeringMy mother’s mother is one of God’s silent heroes. I use the present term, even if she has been gone for years now. I am sure she is cheering me on, up in the bleachers, as Paul says those who are dead do. Eagerly watching to see if we have the support we need, if we are staying the course, if we have heeded the warnings and stored the loving advice they gave us through their lives.

She used to be timid, just as me, able to conjure the worst catastrophes, not always trusting her own abilities. Yet always doing what she thought was right, with a serving and loving heart.

IMG_0275 dark cloudsThen one summer morning our world was shattered. My aunt and her husband had been stabbed to death by their neighbor.

I will not write about the anguish and pain, the grief and the fear. Months went by, the shadows of that day adding darkness to the other tragedies we had lived through as a family.

I thought my grandmother would never be able to straighten her back after that blow. She kept praying, serving and believing though.

I had to ask her: Why? How are you able to live?

She stopped knitting, but she did not answer at once. Then she looked at me, her voice still quiet, her eyes glowing strong.

” The worst has happened, after this nothing can frighten me. The worst has happened and God carried me through even that. That gives me courage to face my days, and to know that the small tasks he reminds me to do is important.”

IMG_5888 hortensiaI have seen illness, evil, death and  sorrow afflict my own family. I have listened to patients,clients and victims of evil hurt by violence, illness, shock, grief and death. I do not need to be reminded of the scary, terrible facts and deeds of life. I do need to be  inspired by everyone who keeps believing in beauty and love. I do need to share joy and laughter to pick up strength to keep striving for justice and a good life.

I need to stock up on beauty, truth and love to take me trough whatever fears I still will need to face in my life.

To do that I heed another advice Paul gave the Philippians : Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

That’s a lot, and enough for me!
IMG_5859 rose