Have you eaten today? Blue pills and red pills

Come on, breakfast is ready, where is everybody?

Come on, breakfast is ready, where is everybody?

It was a late saturday evening. I was in hospital, seriously ill, and not able to eat at all. The nurses went in and out while I was more or less asleep. Hospital doors shut in their own way, they just glide silently at slow speed until they are almost closed. Then they stop, and shut in a final quick swish. Just as the door closed, this last swish brought with it a vanilla waft and a peal of laughter. Someone was baking waffles in the nurse’s kitchen, hoping for  an easy shift with time for socializing and friendship.

Trying to fool me with a blue pill are you?

Trying to fool me with a blue pill are you?

That smell brought so many memories of my grandmother’s tradition of serving waffles to everybody on saturday afternoon, of happy meals in the garden and by the fireplace. It brought longings for companionship and joy. It brought regrets for  the times I had not appreciated being with my family or taking time to share a meal with a friend. The smell of that simple and unpretentious food brought resolve to never take fellowship or sustenance as a given. To me it is not about what we eat, but eating together, sharing meals that take so long that thoughts, questions and reflections have time to arise and be dwelt upon.

I want to take part in the fun

I want to take part in the fun

I have been told that the chinese used to greet each other with ” have you eaten?”. The most important thing to know, implicating that if you had food, your day must be good. We know that many could not answer positively to that. Even today, we will find hunger, malnutrition and need very close to us. So, on the other hand, if developing pills that would take care of everybody’s need was possible, if I could eat pills so that all of us were given the chance to live, then I would do it. Until then I am happy to being able to eat. Until then, you’re welcome to sit down at my table sharing a meal.

Having a cup of coffee by the lake, come join me!

Having a cup of coffee by the lake, come join me!

Gloomy glum

IMG_2015 stolperI went out in the marches to look for beautiful photos. To me it was a glorious day. It was made even better when I spotted an old-time childhood friend sitting on a stone, dangling his long ungainly legs. Well, Hello Puddleglum! I shouted. He barely looked up. Oh, it’s you is it? I would not come closer if I were you. Why not? I said as I rushed to him and gave him a hug. You know, those cold clear day are sure to bring out a rheumatism he commented, you should stay away from the shore! Do you have rheumatism then? I countered. Not yet, not yet, any day now, he said, with a tone in his voice conveying that a spot of arthritis was all he lacked to make his suffering complete.

IMG_1452 reflection pond I sat down by his side and looked out over a small pond, reflecting reeds, flowers and trees. A frog was squeaking. I bet you are hungry, he said. Well, not really, I answered. Good, as there is no food, he sighed. Life is not all fricasseed eel and frog pie you know, even to you, who are just frolicking along, it isn’t.

IMG_0421 storlidalen 1 I contemplated this for a while, when it suddenly struck me. But Puddleglum, why are you still so gloomy? I thought you were in Aslan’s country now! Oh, but I am, he answered. I used to be afraid of that, thought I would have to sing and dance and that sort of thing. But that’s not my way of being happy. As happy never was a word that came to mind when thinking about my true and trusted friend, I had to ask him.

IMG_2612 storlidalen solAre you happy then? In every bone he said. You know Aslan said, being in his country is being the perfect me, truly fulfilling what he created me to be, so worrying is allowed. This surprised me. How could that be? You know my worrying has always been my way of telling Aslan that I trust him to take care of things, because it sure is too much for me. And now, with this bright new world, and everyone singing, it sure needs someone to keep on the look out for not perfect things. They are not allowed, you know.

IMG_3418 vannliljerSo he let’s you worry? I could not grasp this. Well, he told me I had trusted him, in all adversities, never saying no, even when I thought he was giving foolish orders. So I still get to do that, you would not see the blue sky if everything was blue would you? He told me, that perfect consists of everyone as long as they trust him. In some of us the music of rejoice is trust, in some of us it is singing, as to you it is laughing. You sure you’re not hungry? Well, perhaps a little? Good, because I just made a pot of fricasseed eel, we are in Aslan’s country after all, aren’t we?IMG_2571 mardøla

The song of my heart – a daily prompt on ear worm

All alone

Sometimes it feels we have to manage all alone

I went to a new ( to me) hair dresser last week. Not vintage looking but vintage being, not overly cool and fashionable, but overwhelmingly and positively warm and welcoming. A surf board on the wall, a guitar in the corner, smile, laughter and comments that I for once believed (like Nice! This looks good on you!) On the radio they were playing : we all need somebody too lean on.

I always have a song in my heart, sometimes sad, sometimes jubilant, sometimes heard by others, sometimes just felt in my moves and steps. Some times the song in my ears and the song in my heart collides. I hear something that I do not want to support, do not want to be a part of, and still it goes on and on. Then again, sometimes I hear music that I happily allows to stay, not always profound or “quality” music, but music that in a simple way reflects parts of the truth I hold important. So, we all need somebody to lean on!

Sometimes it may be difficult to see that we are worthy of support

Sometimes it may be difficult to see that we are worthy of support

To me, that is not about one being weak and others strong, it is about being together, strengthening the bonds between us, so that we know that I can be a support for one, even when somebody else is a support for me. And I do not think this is so much listening and counseling as it is about leading a life that is true and whole.

Sometimes we just need a railing, even if the steps has to be climbed

Sometimes we just need a railing, even if the steps has to be climbed

Being true to myself so that I know when and how to ask others for support. Being true to my self so that when others turn to me for support they will know I will be true to them. The salon I visited, the people and the song had the same message, let us be here for one another, it all felt true. I was not going there for neither comfort nor coaching, it felt good just to soak up the atmosphere.
I do think it all adds up, the settings we are in, even the mundane and ordinary ones, like grocery stores or hairdressers.

Sometimes we can be a support to others, even when we need to lean on someone

Sometimes we can be a support to others, even when we need to lean on someone

More basically the atmosphere at home, school, church and workplace will either make us closer or drive us apart. They could  make us able to be a support and also have someone to lean on when we are weak. Or we could end up  forlorn, unable to support ourselves or others and without someone to turn to. It is never about what those environments claim to be, it is always about what they are in their core. What we need is wisdom to soak up the good and let go of the bad
I do believe the song in our hearts shows in our steps, I try to keep it songs worth living. And I do know there are songs worth singing!

Song of my heart

Song of my heart

Go with the flow – the expected unexpected in a postaday post

Go away!

Go away!

My theory that life is so much better if you are just enough organized is grounded in the basic fact that life seldom is what we expect it to be.

When I am in a realistic/pessimistic/blue/ just too tired mood, I expect the worst to happen, that an unexpected call will be the police telling me of an accident or our vicar to tell of a death. It almost never is.

You are not welcome

You are not welcome

When everything is going my way and I feel happy, expectant and relaxed, I do expect callers that brings news of new-born babies, love that is found, competitions that are won and invitations that are given. Quite often it is. Most of the time unexpected calls are neither, but just interruptions. Someone wants me to buy things, do something, sign up for almost anything. Even so, the calls are made by people who do deserve that I listen and am polite.

Not today

Not today

And then to most of us life is just that. Someone will try to sell you car insurance even when you are ill in bed. Others will want to share their joy when your soul will shed only tears, as grief and sorrow will not wait at the door until we are through with our party. Of course one cannot expect and plan for all this, if you do anxiety will cripple your attempt at living.

I want you to feel like this

I want you to feel like this

Even so, knowing that the unexpected are to be expected, gives a relaxed way of living that makes room for both joy and sorrow. Even if most of my callers are expected, I want even the unexpected to feel wanted and cared for. To be organized for this is something I work on being better at.

Let us just sit down

Let us just sit down

I do it like this: I try to leave open spots in my schedule so that I always have a real possibility of taking some time off for the unexpected call, even if it is not the catastrophic sort who forces everything else away.

I normally have something nice to eat in the freezer, either to add to our meal or to make a new meal when guests show up unexpectedly.

I try to keep my house in order, not only for guests, but so as not to waste time running in circles when I really need to respond to something.

The more the merrier

The more the merrier

Most of all, I sit down. I used to be so happy when the cordless phones came, which meant I could keep on doing whatever I thought was important when somebody called. I thought the caller could not feel my resentment  for being interrupted. I surely was so preoccupied with trying to do things when listening that I completely missed the blessing of walking a part of the road   with a fellow human being. I did not stop doing that until my son answered the phone the first time. As soon as he had said hello he rushed to the window and started to deadhead the potted plants, then he tried to water them all the time listening to his grandmother. Afterwards I asked him why he did that. That’s what you do, he said. As soon as the phone rings you start to run about, you never do that when people are visiting!

Who were that on the phone I said, I do not know he said, looking puzzled. To him the phone was the signal for rushing, not for relating.

Who was that?

Who was that?

I am not an angel, most of my friends or people that call me are not either, I think. I like to think of the verse in the Bible who says we should not forget to show hospitality as we could be hosting angels (Hebrews 13:2). That would certainly be unexpected, but if even that is what should be expected, I think I’ll just go with the flow, receive whoever is calling, and expect some surprises.

You are very welcome! See you! You are always expected!

Press it! Sharing blogs that make a difference

Other people may show me when I am too narrow-minded

Other people may show me when I am too narrow-minded

Prompted by the postaday prompt to share and recommend three blogs that I loved, I am happy to recommend these three persons who all makes a difference in the world through what they do and what they blog.

Some years ago I asked my brother, who knows this kind of things, is it possible to earn money on my pictures? I was aching for some new gear, a photo safari in Lofoten….you name it, I needed cash! But most of all I ached for a job closer to my heart.  He gave me a book by David du Chemin, Visionmongers. It was not so much about photography as it was about finding, sharing and living by one’s true calling and abilities, the vision and passion. David writes so well, is an astonishing photographer and comes through as a genuine caring person. That book meant a lot to me, and of course I was happy to discover his blog. One of the guiding stars in my life is “give, and it shall be given unto you” . This is the spirit of David’s work too. He writes so poignantly about that today. “Let them steal”,he says, talking about how the fear of being the victim of theft kills the creative energy we could have used for creating. Have a look at his work and words your self!

David du Chemin-world and Humanitarian Photographer

Other people may show me new steps to take

Other people may show me new steps to take

Then there is an norwegian blog I’d love to share, the MD Maria Gjerpe, writes so well, combining medical knowledge with her own experience about chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).  I do not have that illness myself, but have family members who suffer. Maria’s first hand , balanced and sound advice is just what I need. Just now she has started a project to  crowd fund research on CFS. If you do understand norwegian, have a look!

Maria Gjerpe

Listening to others may even give me a new perspective

Listening to others may even give me a new perspective

Last night I got a like on my own blog from someone I had not seen before. I checked out her blog and followed immediately. Pat is a Dominican Sister of San Rafael. She shares so many of my hobbies, hiking, walking and photography. Then again she has chosen a different way of living her belief than I have done, which makes it a gift to me to be able to listen in on her perspective. Her poems and pictures are like a spring of fresh water on a walking trip. You might like it too.

Her post today is about optimism, go visit OPreach!

I’ll run into the water! On sharing the love

Britt Arnhild's green house, we share the love of gardening

Britt Arnhild’s green house, we share the love of gardening

Summer camp, we were 14, we were sharing thoughts, beliefs, singing, joy, addresses and then we went home. Some days later I got a letter in the post from Britt Arnhild. I think we would make friends, she said, tell me about your life!

Our friendship grew through the years, through shared secrets, joys, sorrows, travels and belief. We are now both mothers of four and live in the same city, most of the time.

We share the joy of quilting, reading and coffee

We share the joy of quilting, reading and coffee

Then we moved to the US. Tell me about your life, she said. Why don’t you start a blog! She had been blogging for years and have made friends all over the world, her posts are truly inspiring and accompanied by her own great photos. Wonderful! I just did not feel up to it, and kept sending travel letters by e-mail.

We came back, I kept reading her blog, she kept laughing and saying, why do you not start a blog! And then I did. I have been blogging for some years. I have had so much fun making advent calendar blogs together with my siblings. I have had private blogs with my children. I have used my blogs as training grounds for speeches and presentations, and I have a new way of sharing the pictures I take.

Reading in the green house

Reading in the green house

Almost, ok then, totally addictive!

Then we moved to the states again, and Britt Arnhild says, hey why don’t you get to know and love my blogging friends over there! Yes, why not indeed?

And here I am, planning adventures with, and getting to know her friends.

Shared faith

Shared faith

I just heard the lyrics of that old country song,” I’ll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan” and knew that on the other side of Blogging Jordan, Britt Arnhild will be waiting, running through the shallow waters reaching for my hand, to encourage, to share, and keep me blogging.

Why don’t you visit? http://www.brittarnhildshouseinthewoods.typepad.com

Her latest project is a monday series of portraits of the friends she has made through blogging. She won’t be running out of subjects any time soon.