The beginner’s guide to jealousy


If I was really jealous, and still had a friend, I would write her a letter to let her in on the secrets of jealousy, it would not be anonymous though! 

I’ll share it with you, there are a lot of tricks to be learned! 

Jealousy is a prickly weed that goes well in a bouquet of envy, greed, ungratefulness and ignorance. You may chose to make this arrangement as a wreath on your front door, place it on your dinner table, or best of all craft it into a small buttonhole nose gay. You need to make only one, as it will sprout, grow and cling to every human you approach. 

It is so easy to care for, every resentment and snide you ever utter will make it grow, you do not even have to think about it! It just takes some small adjustments in your daily routine. 

 First, every time you smile and start to enjoy yourself, stop and tell yourself that what you have is actually much less than you are entitled too. 

Second, if you should feel the slightest inclination to be happy when a friend achieves something, remember to tell yourself how much better you would have done given her opportunities.
If you ever have leisure time always find something to do that you think somebody else should have done. 

Above all, always remember never to give anything away, always compare and keep complaining. 

If you succeed you will be able to establish a thriving jealously patch in your home and your workplace, that will be felt by everyone around you.
Just by practicing a little every day you will soon be the most jealous, grumpy, miserable, friendless person you will ever know. 

You will not realize that this is you though, as you will cling to the fact that there is a lovelier, richer, nicer you somewhere if you only got what’s meant to be yours.
Keep practicing, or you’ll just have to enjoy life.



ABSee, a daily post weaving thoughts on seeing and being

IMG_3407 dovre 3A. I sit on a bench, under the eucalyptus trees, looking out over the slough. Silently and majestically a great white egret takes flight and sails over the water. It’s reflection is perfectly mirrored in the silent water. It seems a sacrilege to reach for my camera, and I don’t. Anyway, no matter how I captured this moment I would not be able to convey the glory and the mystery of the moment. You had to be there, so go! Find a bench, a silent spot, and stay in what you see.

IMG_3332 VINGROMB. We are driving through the french countryside, approaching the swiss border, as the traffic comes to a sudden halt. Soon there are long lines, and we settle in for some waiting time. Hot and boring to everyone it seems. This is many years ago, I was fourteen, with my first camera and film and developing had to be taken from my pocket-money. Which means I was very careful about what I shot. I roll down the window and look around, curious as I am. Then, close by, I see an old tree, golden grasses at its foot, a tumble-down fence, and two brown horses, silently eating grass, not going anywhere, not caring about all the tourists who think their day is ruined. I take their picture, out of the window. It turned out just as peaceful as I remembered it. I still have it, it still reminds me to look for the silent spot in the middle of chaos.

IMG_3378 Dovre 1See. We are driving through the norwegian mountains, we parents become aware of our youngest daughter who is looking intently ahead of her. “What is the matter?” We ask. “Don’t disturb me,” she says,” I am making C memories”. “What? What are A and B memories if this is C? “We ask. “Silly you,” she responds.” I said See, not C. I want to take what I see with me, And then I have to look real hard to make see memories.” She still does, and we are still reminded to do it, stay silent, and be in the moment, and see.

The song of my heart – a daily prompt on ear worm

All alone

Sometimes it feels we have to manage all alone

I went to a new ( to me) hair dresser last week. Not vintage looking but vintage being, not overly cool and fashionable, but overwhelmingly and positively warm and welcoming. A surf board on the wall, a guitar in the corner, smile, laughter and comments that I for once believed (like Nice! This looks good on you!) On the radio they were playing : we all need somebody too lean on.

I always have a song in my heart, sometimes sad, sometimes jubilant, sometimes heard by others, sometimes just felt in my moves and steps. Some times the song in my ears and the song in my heart collides. I hear something that I do not want to support, do not want to be a part of, and still it goes on and on. Then again, sometimes I hear music that I happily allows to stay, not always profound or “quality” music, but music that in a simple way reflects parts of the truth I hold important. So, we all need somebody to lean on!

Sometimes it may be difficult to see that we are worthy of support

Sometimes it may be difficult to see that we are worthy of support

To me, that is not about one being weak and others strong, it is about being together, strengthening the bonds between us, so that we know that I can be a support for one, even when somebody else is a support for me. And I do not think this is so much listening and counseling as it is about leading a life that is true and whole.

Sometimes we just need a railing, even if the steps has to be climbed

Sometimes we just need a railing, even if the steps has to be climbed

Being true to myself so that I know when and how to ask others for support. Being true to my self so that when others turn to me for support they will know I will be true to them. The salon I visited, the people and the song had the same message, let us be here for one another, it all felt true. I was not going there for neither comfort nor coaching, it felt good just to soak up the atmosphere.
I do think it all adds up, the settings we are in, even the mundane and ordinary ones, like grocery stores or hairdressers.

Sometimes we can be a support to others, even when we need to lean on someone

Sometimes we can be a support to others, even when we need to lean on someone

More basically the atmosphere at home, school, church and workplace will either make us closer or drive us apart. They could  make us able to be a support and also have someone to lean on when we are weak. Or we could end up  forlorn, unable to support ourselves or others and without someone to turn to. It is never about what those environments claim to be, it is always about what they are in their core. What we need is wisdom to soak up the good and let go of the bad
I do believe the song in our hearts shows in our steps, I try to keep it songs worth living. And I do know there are songs worth singing!

Song of my heart

Song of my heart