Category Archives: strategies for life

The runaway train of thoughts

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IMG_5705 bridge“Hilarious, fun, once more, neat!”
That’s what the kids said as we emerged from five minutes of dodging rocks and water, being hurled up, down and sideways, into the dark and out on the cliffs on the Rocky Mountain ride. A passerby saw me, and immediately offered her arm as support, “do you need a doctor?” she said. I did get over that, sort of. It just seems like runaway trains is the best description of my thought process as I get older.

IMG_7596 bartlovIt used to be different. My train of thought was a train gliding fast over the vast prairie. It knew the small towns where it was supposed to stop and pick up cargo and deliver necessities, and it did. It was totally reliable and always on time.

IMG_7585 rusty trainNow my train of thoughts is at best like the train that runs in the underground tunnels in Gringott, you know the Harry Potter movie. My train roars high up in the air, goes all around, and arrives at totally unexpected places. As I swoosh past I can see some wagons on a side track that I absolutely should have connected too, and then it is too late. Then my train screechingly halts at an other sidetrack, picks up whats there and takes off in a second.

IMG_4694 railroadmapsI can not rely on my brain to be calm, intellectual, always remember the right facts and knowing when to present the correct answers any more. At times I miss that youthful self-confident brain that thought life could be untangled through logic, books and exams. Reliable maps, that took you somewhere.

What I do know, now, even if I hate roller coasters , is that the jumble of life is not placed along a set railroad. To see it all, to discover all those crazy, funny, creative connections that I so love, I’ll have to come along on the bumpy line. My rusty thinking machine keeps taking me to the most unexpected places, and I love it!IMG_7592 rusty bolts

My list of Untangling Tens

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When life get’s tangled… the untangling project.IMG_6914 do nothing

 

1.Do nothing
2. Walk

IMG_4056 sleep3. Sleep
4. Eat

IMG_5545 light a candle5. Light a candle
6. Give thanks

IMG_5503 organize7. Make a list
8. Organize

IMG_0997 call a friend9. Call a friend

10. StartIMG_3124 start

A train in the night – a daily prompt on seasons

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IMG_0204 winter 2It was winter. As cold, crunchy, white and freezing as only a Norwegian afternoon at the end of January can be.

We rushed into the steaming compartment the minute the doors opened, making ourself comfortable. Settling in for the seven hour train ride through the mountains north to Trondheim. Scarves, jackets, mittens and boots were off. Crosswords, coffee, books, knitting and snacks were out.

Except for one traveller. His heavy boots, the sheepskin jacket, the green muffler, all stayed on – even if he finally tore his gloves off. An hour into the ride the passenger next to him leaned over and asked:” Why don’t you take off your winter gear?” ” Oh, I couldn’t do that,” he answered, ” You see, I am changing trains in Trondheim.”

IMG_3795 vinter skogWhen we first moved to the states, I was surprised at how everyone jumped into each season, no regrets, no anticipation, just :hey! It’s memorial day! It’s summer! Let’s celebrate! Or the day after Halloween, filling their carts at Hobby Lobby with decorations for Thanksgiving. Making the most of each season, even while they always were saving for something, college, retirement, vacation.

I love it! Just now I am having a pumpkin spice latte, in the october sunshine, it is fall!

I know, winter will come. Next week will be busy. Next month I will be traveling. After that we will be ” changing trains” and go back to Norway. But just not now, in this moment I am here, to the full, in fall.IMG_0054 fall Indiana

Do nothing, do no thing

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Lost?

Lost?

We were in Disney World, me and four children.
We laughed, had hotdogs, did the rides, had the best day ever, until we strolled away from the ghost train and I suddenly discovered that we were me and three children. When did we last see the four-year old?

I grabbed an attendant who stopped the ride and searched the train, no little boy.
An alert was made, and I was told to go back the way we came, back to the entrance.

More running than walking down a little hill we saw people assembled at a plaza, I feared the worst and forced my way through the crowd, children in hand.

There he was, like a bird in a cage, running back and forth, crying, not hearing any of the kind voices trying to reach him, not seeing any of the ways out, just running.
He did not hear me either. I crouched down, in the middle of the square, stretched my arms wide open and caught him in an embrace when he whisked by.

He collapsed, shaking, sobbing: “I did not know what to do!”

We sorted it out, we celebrated the reunion, we had a tale to tell when my husband came home from work.
I am often reminded of this day though, every time panic is almost taking control.
Every time I hear my own fretful voice:” I do not know what to do!”

Then I stop my self, just before I start running in circles, doing everything, trying anything, working up a frenzy.
Just then I tell myself, If you really do not know what to do, it is probably best to do nothing.

Not forever, not never doing anything, just now. Relax, breath, stop.
If there really is not anything you can do, the best thing is to do that, nothing.

If  there should be a thing you can do, one tiny step in the mess you are in, you’ll have to be real quiet to find it.

More often than not there are things we could do, there are things we should do, and in hard times the way forward will take strength, integrity and effort.

Perhaps our running about is just the lazy way of spending our strength in a way that does not demand anything? It is easier to wring our hands, cry, do a lot of activity and then say to everybody I am totally exhausted, and there is nothing more I can do. Everybody would sympathize with that, poor you, you have done everything you could have done.

No one will be willing to say, perhaps you did the wrong things, perhaps you wasted your energy doing pointless things, when your strength was given you for the task only you could do?

I think that is what God is doing. Looking down on the earth he sees us running about, busy, busy, and he wonders, did I not tell them clearly what is important? And he does it again: In quietness and trust is your strength (Isaiah 30:15). Not never to do anything, just now to do nothing, nothing else than stop, wait and trust.

 

To sleep or not to sleep

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IMG_0877 (1024x768)I did not sleep like a log, as logs sometimes move.
I did not sleep like a rock, as rocks sometimes roll.
I slept like an alpine village in a january night.
Totally silent, still and peaceful, as if snow was softly falling outside my window.

That was two nights ago.

Last night I fell asleep, only to wake an hour later.

I know why, I am jet lagged. Even so I know I have to sleep to be awake for tomorrow. Of course I do not listen to reason. I toss, I turn, I just can not sleep.

Then I tell myself, you can “notsleep”! So I do!

I do some stretches on the floor, I take a hot shower, I put on body lotion.

IMG_9401 (1024x683)I crawl back into bed and luxuriate in the stillness of the night. No one needs me just now, I am free to let my thoughts play and wander, just for fun. At times like these I have some favorite walks to relive. I meander slowly between the legs of tall pine trees in the evening sun, I walk where the surf breaks along the beach or I ski over snow-clad fields in the blue winter light.

IMG_9281 (1024x683)Strangely enough, even if I may not sleep I usually do, eventually.

At times it is not physical changes or travel that keep me awake. I have had my share of nights filled with illness, pain, sorrow, waiting or worries. I know all the tricks to help people sleep.
I guess they help others, they do not help me.

I do not read, I think sleeplessness is a gift of time to have a look at what’s already in my head.

I do not go and do something else until I am tired, I do allow my body to have its rest, even if my mind is busy.

IMG_0587 (1024x768)I just accept the fact that I am not sleeping, well, most of the time.
Tonight I just have to go to bed, before I go to sleep at my desk, and even I can not find a positive take on sleeping in a keyboard.

The beginner’s guide to jealousy

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20130803-132548.jpg

If I was really jealous, and still had a friend, I would write her a letter to let her in on the secrets of jealousy, it would not be anonymous though! 

I’ll share it with you, there are a lot of tricks to be learned! 

Jealousy is a prickly weed that goes well in a bouquet of envy, greed, ungratefulness and ignorance. You may chose to make this arrangement as a wreath on your front door, place it on your dinner table, or best of all craft it into a small buttonhole nose gay. You need to make only one, as it will sprout, grow and cling to every human you approach. 

It is so easy to care for, every resentment and snide you ever utter will make it grow, you do not even have to think about it! It just takes some small adjustments in your daily routine. 

 First, every time you smile and start to enjoy yourself, stop and tell yourself that what you have is actually much less than you are entitled too. 

Second, if you should feel the slightest inclination to be happy when a friend achieves something, remember to tell yourself how much better you would have done given her opportunities.
If you ever have leisure time always find something to do that you think somebody else should have done. 

Above all, always remember never to give anything away, always compare and keep complaining. 

If you succeed you will be able to establish a thriving jealously patch in your home and your workplace, that will be felt by everyone around you.
Just by practicing a little every day you will soon be the most jealous, grumpy, miserable, friendless person you will ever know. 

You will not realize that this is you though, as you will cling to the fact that there is a lovelier, richer, nicer you somewhere if you only got what’s meant to be yours.
Keep practicing, or you’ll just have to enjoy life.

20130803-134843.jpg

While waiting for the answers

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IMG_5622 skyerWould it not be nice if we could do the math of life first, then go ahead and fill in the unknowns in the equation, and then…just sail through life? Even when it is almost unbearable to wait for an answer, a solution, for healing or for success, that is just what we have to do. I listened to an inspiring talk on mathematics some days ago, which made me write this post on going on even when we do not see the end of the road. I borrowed an expression from the lovely blog of Gleaning the nuggets, I do not think luck comes to the prepared mind. I think the prepared mind is able to glean those small nuggets, to see the tiny steps that eventually will take me where I need to go. Not being able to see the whole road before me or remembering every bend until now is not really a valid excuse for not staying on the road, is it? I think the big answers, like” is this a road?”, and “where does it take me?”, also gets answered through the tiny nuggets, the small steps.

IMG_3323 childhood church

Listless is clueless

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Mad Hatter Teaparty

Mad Hatter Teaparty

I was having some girl friends over, and some of us had quite a lot on our plates just then. You know that middle age means being in the middle of all ages did you not? There were parents, spouses, kids, grandchildren, obligations and careers, and we were in the middle of it all, comforting, helping, advising and supporting. We got to talking about how we tackled stress, and how we sorted our priorities. No one surprised the others by saying she made a list, because we all do that.

Too much to consider

Too much to consider

The interesting part is how we make different lists and how we make lists differently. One of my friends said the trick was to make a narrow list, just wide enough for a single item, that would convince her that one step at a time would guide her through her day, and it would. My mother used to go to the other extreme, the bigger sheet of paper the better. She would make columns for each hour of the day, allot tasks to each hour, and then force ahead, being sure that if nothing happened it would be possible to achieve it all.

Too much on you plate...

Too much on you plate…

Then of course, as most of the elements on her lists were living creatures who did not know that we were committed to paper, she was always behind her schedule. She found it comforting to know though that life was the messy part, not her planning. To me all sorts of lists are basic survival tools. My head is always filled to the brim with ideas, plans, projects, dreams and pictures. I can handle that, what makes me reach for my notepad is when worries are trying to take over.

Just one task at the time

Just one task at the time

If I think I really have too much to do, I use a list to tell me it is not true.To me list making is a way of making sure that the pieces of my life’s puzzle will fit together and make a beautiful picture in the end. I jot down every thought that comes to mind, not categorizing or sorting, just everything. Like emptying the puzzle box on a big table. The rationale is that if it is crowding my head it needs to get out so I can see what it is all about. Normally it takes only a couple of minutes to know that whats left in my head might stay where it is.

They do not really care about the fuzz

They do not really care about the fuzz

Then I start sorting. Normally the categories would be family and friends, work and church. These are the corners holding my picture together. Then of course there will be different projects to do and to remember. The surprise that always elevates me is that is normally boils down to the small details of the big picture. Thinking it over, having a look at the pieces that want to be in my picture I can confer with the picture on the box of the puzzle and say, sorry you do not belong, or I can turn it over and say, this piece goes with the border, so let’s just keep it out of the middle for a while.

Let's get to work

Let’s get to work

Doing this I also discover that life is just like the old jigsaw puzzles at our cabin. Someone has been lazy when sorting the pieces. Mostly you will discover that by emptying the box. As in life, I can easily  spot and remove the big, clumsy pieces that clearly not belong.

One big picture

One big picture

It get’s tricky though, sometimes you can make a piece from another box fit. Not quite, but almost. That is when I get stressed, that is when I sense something is wrong, when I try to fit something into my life because somebody has dumped it into my box. As I get older, I am learning. Doing what others should do is not taking responsibility, it is robbing someone else of the blessings to being allowed to  walk in the work prepared for them.

Different tasks

Different tasks

Of course, when nobody is shouldering the task, when there is a real emergency, that is something else. If not, I have learned it is wise to just wait it out, sorting through my pieces once more. Resting in the blessing that I will have time for what I am called to do, quietly putting the other pieces back where they belong.

First things first, as pigs see it

First things first, as pigs see it

The pictures are from the County Fair this weekend. Busy, teeming with life, everybody concentrating on their own tasks.

Teamwork

Teamwork

Messy neatpins

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Beautiful order

Beautiful order

We stayed with some friends this week. As they left early for work we made our own breakfast, and I was impressed by the total order of her kitchen. I had to comment on that later in the evening. Oh, she said, I just keep it that way, my grandmother organized it when we moved in. That was ten years ago.

Very well ordered, but for whom?

Very well ordered, but for whom?

As for me? I de-clutter and organize several times a year, but as soon a I start living in the neat, clean space, life takes over. I talked this over with another dear friend some days ago. Her home is as organized as mine, everything has its place, and most of the time that’s  where you’ll find it. To me order has it’s own beauty. So why do we strive to stay organized? Because the well-ordered universe is not our natural habitat.

well ordered, but not living

well ordered, but not living

And we both know that keeping organized is our survival tool to be able to do all the thing we want to do, or have to do. We both are impulsive, creative, active, imaginative…and at least for me, messy. Not when doing ordinary things like cooking or cleaning, but say gardening…..I’ll start in a corner. I find a plant that does not thrive, I find a new spot, I discover a rose that should have been cut back, I trim that rose and start the compost cutter, I spot some twigs that are too big and go to the landfill with those, or saw them into logs, then I see that the wood shed should have been cleared….

Where to start?

Where to start?

Hopefully I put the poor plant in the ground before I started on the roses, life is a messy business! Not to talk about painting, quilting or sewing. Pulling everything out, looking at the colours, feeling the material, gets me going, while nothing stops me as having to look for the handy tool or the scrap that would make this project perfect. Then again,  if I really am stuck, the best strategy is to clear up, sort out, to take stock. To me, that is true about everything, not only visible projects.

To untangle life enough to be aware of the single rose

To untangle life enough to be aware of the single rose

Actually, even more so if I do not know where to go next. I think life’s messes are like balls of wool, if they are entangled it makes things worse to pull at one thread even if it is the right one. Stop, think, tweak and pull softly, perhaps even cut a knot. And then I will be knitting again, until the next knot. At least I will know where my yarn is, and if need be where my scissors are, hopefully.

Weekly photo challenge SIGNS

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This really is the best auto-repair in town, but if they can not even hang a sign, who will think so?

This really is the best auto-repair in town, but if they can not even hang a sign, who will think so?

I work with people, organizations and businesses, on strategy, values and integrity. Nowadays you’ll find that many businesses promotes their values on websites, signs and posters. That takes courage, as few things are as bad for business as being treated badly as a customer under a sign that reads “we care for you” or something like that.

The sign reads Customer parking in Norwegian. To me it says we care only for your money

The sign reads Customer parking in Norwegian. To me it says we care only for your money

We all know that. With this as my starting point I find it really interesting when signs tell me something the firm would be ashamed to acknowledge, it is just that they are so used to they surroundings that they do not realize what their signs are doing.

Even if every sign is important, together they are confusing

Even if every sign is important, together they are confusing, we just stopped, drove on and hoped for the best